Buildings: Do Churches Really Need Them?

An interesting debate between Pastor Dan Kimball and Ken Eastburn, a leader of a house church network in Orange County, California, began this month on Out of Ur, the blog of our sister publication Leadership Journal.

On December 2, Kimball wrote a piece entitled, "I Was Wrong About Church Buildings." In it, he discusses his journey as a church planter during the past eight years, and his gradual realization that church buildings can, in fact, enhance and advance ministry, not just drain resources.

Two weeks later, Eastburn published a response. Here's a quick highlight of what Eastburn wrote:

"I am writing this because the subject of the necessity of buildings is a crucial topic to discuss all across the Church. You do indeed describe good uses for buildings … but what is good, may not be best – either for your church or for the Body of Christ worldwide. Allow me to explain. After you listed good uses of both your church’s building and others’ (i.e. Compassion International), you made this statement:

'These missional opportunities would not be possible without a building.'

There are three reasons why I think you’re mistaken."

Eastburn then goes on to say:

"Churches around the world manage to be missional, make disciples, and spread the good news, without any building whatsoever. Even more, they are doing it better than churches in the West with buildings. You see, it is not buildings that create a consumer-mentality, it is just the opposite. It is our consumer-mentality that causes us to think we need buildings. Buildings can be great tools, but the Church gets by…no, the Church thrives … every day without them."

In Your Church's 2009 Church Budget Priorities Survey, buildings are the second-biggest expense for most churches, trailing only staff expenses. Given Kimball and Eastburn's discussion, are buildings one of the best uses of church resources--or not?

Should You Prepare Your Own Tax Returns?

Ministers can prepare their own tax returns. While ministers’ taxes present several unique rules, these rules are not complex. Unfortunately, many people confuse uniqueness with complexity. With a little effort most ministers should be able to comprehend these rules sufficiently to prepare their own tax returns. The information provided in my 2010 Church & Clergy Tax Guide, together with IRS Publication 17 (Your Federal Income Tax), should be all you need in most cases. Of course, some ministers will prefer, for a variety of reasons, to have someone else prepare their tax returns. If that is your choice, be sure you select someone with experience in the preparation of ministers’ tax returns (preferably a tax attorney or a CPA). You may wish to share a copy of the 2010 Church & Clergy Tax Guide with the person you select.

Before you hire a tax preparer

• More than half of all income tax returns prepared by paid preparers contain errors, according to an IRS study. What were the most common mistakes? Failing to claim the standard deduction; entering dollars and cents in the area for dollars; failing to claim (or incorrectly stating) the amount of a refund; failing to total the multiple entries on Schedule C; filing a Schedule SE even though net self-employment earnings are less than $400; using the wrong filing status (joint, head of household, etc.); and failing to check the age/blind box.

• Paid preparers are subject to a penalty of $1,000 per return (or 50 percent of the income they earned for preparing the return, if greater) for any understatement in taxes that is due to an “unreasonable position,” which is defined by law to mean a lack of a reasonable basis. IRC 6694. As a result, competent paid preparers generally avoid overly aggressive positions when completing ministers’ tax returns.
• The IRS has established a Return Preparer Program that can trigger audits of all returns prepared by certain return preparers who intentionally or negligently disregard federal tax law (code, regulations, and rulings). Ministers and church staff should be cautious when dealing with nonprofessional or “mail-order” return preparers, especially those who promise significant tax savings or are not attorneys or CPAs. See IRS Internal Revenue Manual § 4.11.51.

5 tips on selecting a tax preparer

• If possible, stick with a CPA or tax attorney.
• Try to use someone local.
• Find other ministers in your community who have their tax returns prepared by a professional, and ask questions. Who do they use? Are they pleased? What is the cost? How many ministers’ tax returns does the person prepare?
• Call CPAs listed in your telephone directory: ask if they prepare ministers’ tax returns and, if so, ask how many they prepare.<\li>
• When you find one or more possible candidates, consider asking a few simple questions that should be answered easily by anyone with any experience in handling ministers’ tax returns. Here are a few examples: (1) Are ministers employees or self-employed for Social Security purposes? Ministers always are self-employed for Social Security purposes with respect to their ministerial income. (2) Can I claim my housing allowance exclusion in computing my self-employment taxes? Absolutely not—ever. (3) If I report my church wages as an employee, are my wages subject to FICA taxes? The answer is never. (4) If I report my church wages as an employee, are my wages subject to income tax withholding? No, unless a minister elects voluntary withholding. (5) What is the minister’s housing allowance? The portion of a minister’s salary designated in advance by an employing church for housing expenses. This amount is not taxable in computing a minister’s income taxes to the extent it is used to pay housing expenses and does not exceed the home’s fair rental value.

This article will appear in the January/February 2010 issue of Church Law & Tax Report. Subscribe to receive more timely, helpful information to keep your church safe, legal, and financially sound.

Your Church's Top 10 Articles of 2009

Last week, we wrote about the Top 10 most-read posts on TheYourChurchBlog.com during 2009. This week, we're taking a look at the Top 10 most-read articles from YourChurch.net, the website for Your Church magazine.

For a year riddled with bad economic news, there are a few surprises in these results (hint: Our No. 1 ranked story has nothing to do with the economy, or finances for that matter). What can we conclude from this? Probably not much. Except the fact that church administrators, executive pastors, pastors, and lay leaders wrestle with a variety of challenging, and often complicated, questions on a wide array of topics.

As a not-for-profit ministry, Christianity Today International is thankful it's in a position to help you answer these questions through Your Church, YourChurch.net, and TheYourChurchBlog.com, as well as Church Law & Tax Report, Church Finance Today, ChurchSafety.com, BuildingForMinistry.com, and YourChurchResources.com.

It's our desire to help you keep your church safe, legal, and financially sound. Here's looking forward to 2010!

And now, the Top 10 most-read articles on YourChurch.net during 2009:

10. Why Church Secretaries Quit

9. Virtual Sanity

8. E-give and Take

7. Unoriginal Sin

6. The Technophobe's Survival Guide

5. Flirting with Disaster

4. Obama Proposes Limits on Charitable Contribution Deductions

3. Can Social Networking Get Us Sued?

2. Going "Wild" for VBS

1. Understanding New Wireless Microphone Restrictions

The Top 10 Church Administration Posts for '09

As 2009 draws to a close, here's a fun look back at the year's 10 most-read posts on TheYourChurchBlog.com. Doing this kind of review often helps us understand the most pressing issues facing church administrators, executive pastors, pastors, and leaders.

And, it's a nice way to showcase topics that you may have missed the first time around.

Here's the Top 10:

10. How to Interview Your Next Church

9. Report: Giving Steady at Two-Thirds of Churches

8. Prevent Volunteer Burnout

7. Free Excerpt: The Essential Guide to Church Finances

6. 5 Leadership Books Worth Reading

5. Building a Culture of Generosity in Your Church

4. 10 Questions to Ask About Your Church's Communications

3. Ways to Help the Unemployed at Your Church

2. Resolving Conflict in the Church Office

1. The Top 5 Reasons Churches Wind Up in Court

The Top 7 Resources to Combat Church Embezzlement

Earlier this month, we looked at two recent cases of church embezzlement, and the "zero tolerance" stance judges are starting to take against these crimes.

Unfortunately, yet another big headline has since emerged—this time, the leaders of a 150-member Greek Orthodox Church in Connecticut discovered someone potentially embezzled more than $1 million. Federal authorities investigated the claims, and in an arrest made Tuesday, authorities say the suspect, who oversaw the church's investments (including managing the building fund and endowment) allegedly used the money for his businesses, according to the New Haven Register. The church's attorney, and federal documents released with the arrest, allege the 50-year-old man stole more than $2 million from three parishoners, and potentially millions more from the church, the paper reported.

As incidents such as these continue to spring up, we've compiled the Top 7 resources church leaders should use to prevent embezzlement opportunities and combat individuals who might attempt to steal:

7. The National Association of Church Business Administration. Phill Martin, NACBA's deputy chief executive officer, is a Contributing Editor to Your Church. NACBA offers ongoing certification that covers a variety of subjects, including church financial management. The organization also recently released "Weeds in the Garden," a book about preventing fraud in churches.

6. The Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability. Dan Busby, the ECFA's president, is an Editorial Advisor for Church Law & Tax Report, Church Finance Today, and Your Church. The ECFA publishes best practices on its website, as well as a quarterly publication, Focus on Accountability. The organization also plans to host numerous regional workshops throughout the country in 2010 focused on establishing higher standards in church finance and governance, among other things.

5. Secure Your Church Finances, an electronic training resource from ChurchSafety.com. This free online assessment will help you determine whether your church's money is at risk.

4. Safe Ways to Handle Your Church's Money, an electronic training resource from ChurchSafety.com. The free article from this resource outlines several initial steps to take.

3. Church Finance Today, a monthly newsletter written by senior editor Richard Hammar, one of today's leading thinkers on church law and finance matters, covers key financial and tax developments that church leaders should know.

2. Chapter 7 in Richard Hammar's four-volume series, Pastor, Church & Law (4th ed. 2008) (also available by calling 1-800-222-1840). Chapter 7 addresses the following topics:

• Definition of embezzlement
• Why churches are vulnerable
• How embezzlement occurs
• Reducing the risk of embezzlement
• Responding to allegations of embezzlement
• The consequences of embezzlement
• Confidentiality and privileged communications
• Informing the congregation
• Avoiding false accusations
• The Employee Polygraph Protection Act

1. Essential Guide to Church Finances (Christianity Today International, 2009). This new book, co-written by university accounting professor Richard Vargo and Vonna Laue, a CPA and partner at nonprofit accounting firm Capin Crouse, maps out how to plan and budget, how to set performance measurements, how to create church financial reports, how to conduct church audits, and how to minimize the risk for embezzlement.

The State of Social Media, Part 2

Editor’s Note: Drew Goodmanson, co-founder and pastor of San Diego’s Kaleo Church and a church web consultant, conducted a research project earlier this year on the state of social media for churches. In Part 1, Drew explained the research project, the scope of the findings, and the first of three discoveries that church leaders, business administrators, and pastors should note. In Part 2 today, he looks at a variety of online tools that churches are using for connection and community efforts.

Discovery No. 2: Tokbox Can Help Build Community

Building relationships and community online is an oft-cited goal of social networking. In the research, 40 percent of church leaders say making an effort to connect with, and support, their online communities was one of the most effective ways to use the web. Yet a third of ministry leaders felt building real community was one of the top challenges to being successful online.

In contrast, only 5 percent of church members felt building community online is a challenge. Many church members already see the benefits of online communities as they use tools to connect with past schoolmates and friends throughout the day.

Tokbox is one example of a social, video, and voice technology that can be used for building this community and supporting relationships. Tokbox, similar to Skype, offers free video calling and video conferencing. Conferencing is often equated with business meetings, but Cynthia Ware used it for a small group of moms that she led.

“When you’re at a certain place in your young motherhood, either pregnant, with a newborn, and/or sick toddlers, it’s just too hard to go to church. Often, doctors even recommend that moms keep infants home for at least 6 weeks to build up their immunities,” Cynthia says. “But the cruel twist of fate is that one of the most important needs of a young mother is a support group to draw encouragement, instruction, and resource from. Forget trying to get her out of the house for support. Bring the support to her.

Tokbox provides a platform where you can invite a group of mothers to have a conversation together online—let’s say every Monday night at 7:00—and they don’t have to get dressed, don’t have to get baby dressed, and all the rest. We just sit in front of our computers, kids in our laps, and enjoy the support of others just like us. It’s a cell group really, a place teeming with life, and it really wouldn’t happen any other way due to our season in life.”

Another time, a group of women threw a fellow mom (someone who had moved away from her support group) an online Tokbox shower.

The software splits a user’s computer screen as many ways as there are people. To avoid noisy feedback, everyone can wear headphones, which allows everyone to talk and hear each other. It’s not the same as being physically present, but it offers a tremendous step up from being isolated.

Discovery No. 3: What Members Want

In our study, one-third of ministry leaders plan to invest more in the creation or expansion of an online, members-only community website. When asked what the top features and functions the leaders sought, they ranked the following seven (listed from highest to lowest):

1. Event scheduling, registration, and management.
2. Integration with an existing church website.
3. Ability to connect people to serving opportunities based on interest or gifts.
4. Ability to post prayer requests or needs.
5. Member communication and messaging.
6. Resource sharing.
7. Connecting people within public interest or home groups.

When we asked church members, this was their top 7:

1. Ability to find, register, and/or get details for events.
2. Ability to join and interact with home/bible study groups.
3. Ability to find serving opportunities at the church based on interest or gifts.
4. Ability to post prayer requests or needs.
5. Ability to access a phone/email directory.
6. Ability to share resources.
7. Discussion groups and/or forums.

Events and event management topped the lists for both church leaders and congregants. Most of the remaining items on the wish lists were similar.

But there was one primary difference: Church congregants want access to a member directory, while church leaders want managerial features, such as member communication and integration with their existing websites.

Many of the desired features, such as prayer requests or connecting people to opportunities to serve based on interest or gifts, are fairly church-specific features that numerous church-specific community sites, such as Cobblestone Community Network, Member Hub, or Church Community Builder, seek to address.

Sex Offenders in the Church

Because our team produces Reducing the Risk, a comprehensive training program that churches use with staff and volunteers to minimize the risks of child abuse in their ministries, we pay a great deal of attention to the issue of sex offenders in the church.

For example, this fall, we looked at the case of a Kentucky church that chose to ordain a registered sex offender. Last year, we surveyed churches about their child protection programs, and every year, Richard Hammar writes an exhaustive report on the child-abuse reporting laws for all 50 states.

So we took special notice this month when Christianity Today, a sister publication of ours, published "Modern-Day Lepers." The article clearly demonstrates the ongoing tensions church leaders, administrators, and volunteers face when it comes to balancing between the needs of protecting children and the needs of ministering to sex offenders.

At your church, how have you found a balance, if at all?

The State of Social Media, Part I

Editor’s Note: Drew Goodmanson, co-founder and pastor of San Diego’s Kaleo Church and a church web consultant, conducted a research project earlier this year on the state of social media for churches. Today in Part 1, Drew explains the research project, the scope of the findings, and the first of three discoveries that church leaders, business administrators, and pastors should note. In Part 2 next week, Drew will share more thoughts on the second and third discoveries made from this year’s research.

The social nature of media will continue to converge in ways we cannot imagine during the next five years. As church leaders, it is important to understand the state of social networking, and the directions of these participatory technologies. These tools may promise significant benefits to churches, who seek to build community, mobilize congregations, and offer greater interaction with unbelievers. And an understanding today leads to better action today and better planning for tomorrow.

To gain a full understanding, though, it’s critical that church leaders learn both the benefits and challenges of social media sites. Earlier this year, Monk Development set out to discover some answers to these questions through a “state of social media” research project, surveying hundreds of church leaders about the social media sites they’re using, what features and functions their church members seek, and what benefits and challenges they face using open source solutions or “church-only” ones.

We first shared the results of this research in a webinar entitled, “Church, Christians, and Social Networking” (you can watch an archived recording of the webinar). I’m the founder of Monk Development, a web consulting firm, and I’m also co-founder and pastor of Kaleo Church in San Diego. Cynthia Ware, who has two decades of pastoral ministry experience and a master's degree in new media, helped me present. She helps Christian leaders use their online presence to enrich and expand their ministry reach, and she actively speaks and writes on the subject.

Our work provided insights on three areas where social networking intersects with social media: outreach, discipleship, and community. While we can’t predict the future impact of social media, Cynthia quoted 1 Chronicles during our webinar, focusing on the passage where the “men of Issachar, who understood the times and knew what Israel should do.” Hopefully this information helps your church in that process.

Discovery No. 1: Facebook? Yes. But why?

In the research, 43 percent of church technology leaders said participation in social networking sites is one of the most effective online strategies for a church to generally use.

We reviewed the web analytics for more than 50 churches and found that 6 percent of all website visitors come from social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. By far, Facebook is used most among all social media sites by churches. At last count, Facebook now boasts 350 million members; if it were a country, this would make it third-largest in the world, ahead of the United States.

When church technology leaders were asked about the social networking sites their church used, they ranked the options as follows:

1. Facebook
2. Twitter
3. Private Member Portal
4. Google Groups
5. MySpace

But beyond sheer size and popularity, it seems Facebook may offer churches a chance to draw a more engaged site visitor. People who visit a church website via Facebook view more pages (4 pages), than those who come as direct traffic (3 pages). These visitors also spend more time on a church’s site (2 1/2 minutes) than direct visitors (2 minutes).

A few churches use Facebook as a central place of outreach and to gather new people.

One of these churches was started by Shaun King, pastor of a church plant in Atlanta. Operating on a small startup budget, the plant team launched as Courageous Church, and its leaders chose Facebook as their planting shovel. Armed with little more than a desire to get the word out, Shaun and his team used Facebook as the only advertising medium for starting the church. On opening weekend, 700 people showed up in downtown Atlanta. More than half of those who attended found out about the church’s launch through their Facebook pages.

So successful was the Facebook strategy and campaign that Shaun sees little need to use anything else.

“We consider Facebook ads a lot more affordable than snail mail, and we love both saving the money a mass mail would cost us plus going green,” he says. “We don’t do Google Adwords, mail, TV, or radio. Plus, the very people we’d like to reach are on Facebook, so we meet them there.”

“One of our most recent successes involved an experiment,” Shaun adds. “Instead of the usual one-week campaign, we tried what we call a targeted blast. It’s $500, but every single person who logs onto Facebook in Atlanta gets the ad on a Saturday, of course, the day most people log onto Facebook for fun—and the day just preceding Sunday services.”

Beyond Facebook

Facebook is the 900-pound gorilla in the social media space. When we asked those people who are responsible for setting the web strategy and budget, 60 percent say they plan to invest more of their energy and resources into Facebook strategies.

In our conversations with churches, most say they use Facebook as a tool for church communication to existing members.

However, several church leaders say they do not plan to use Facebook and other secular resources because of a lack of privacy, a loss of control over data, and the inability to ensure inappropriate content is not associated with the church or its members.

One Christian alternative that seeks to target churches is tangle (formerly GodTube). Brian Buchek, tangle's director of business development, says he believes tangle’s ability to screen all content posted is a value-add that many churches and ministries seek.

“We see ourselves as a hybrid model between a private church community site and Facebook,” Brian says. “In addition to people being able to connect with others at their church, we connect people across churches everywhere.”

Next week: “The State of Social Media, Part 2,” looks at the ways churches are using social networking sites for connection and community efforts.

IRS Announces Standard Business Mileage Rate for 2010

The Internal Revenue Service today issued the 2010 optional standard mileage rates used to calculate the deductible costs of operating an automobile for business, charitable, medical, or moving purposes.

Beginning on Jan. 1, 2010, the standard mileage rates for the use of a car (also vans, pickups, or panel trucks) will be:

* 50 cents per mile for business miles driven;
* 16.5 cents per mile driven for medical or moving purposes;
* 14 cents per mile driven in service of charitable organizations

The new rates for business, medical, and moving purposes are slightly lower than last year's. The mileage rates for 2010 reflect generally lower transportation costs compared to a year ago.

The standard mileage rate for business is based on an annual study of the fixed and variable costs of operating an automobile. The rate for medical and moving purposes is based on the variable costs as determined by the same study. Independent contractor Runzheimer International conducted the study.

A taxpayer may not use the business standard mileage rate for a vehicle after using any depreciation method under the Modified Accelerated Cost Recovery System (MACRS) or after claiming a Section 179 deduction for that vehicle. In addition, the business standard mileage rate cannot be used for any vehicle used for hire or for more than four vehicles used simultaneously.

Taxpayers always have the option of calculating the actual costs of using their vehicle rather than using the standard mileage rates.

Revenue Procedure 2009-54 contains additional details regarding the standard mileage rates. Order Richard Hammar's 2010 Church & Clergy Tax Guide for detailed information about handling vehicle expenses related to ministry work.

Zero Tolerance for Church Embezzlement

A sad story emerged last week out of Indiana, where a 37-year-old woman accused of stealing more than $350,000 from a church while working there as an employee received the maximum sentence allowed by the state.

According to an article in the Greencastle Banner-Graphic, the local paper, the woman was convicted on six counts of Class C felony charges and six counts of Class D felony theft, resulting in 10 years in the state jail, followed by 5 years of probation.

The woman began stealing from the church shortly after getting hired in late 2004 as the church's financial and administrative secretary, according to the article. She forged signatures on 192 checks, doctored bank receipts to cover it up, and also made unauthorized charges on church credit cards, the paper said.

This case is similar to one covered by Richard Hammar in November's Church Finance Today in which a woman employed as a church office manager for seven years stole $450,000. She received a 15-year sentence, which included an upward adjustment "for misrepresenting that she was acting on behalf of her church," according to the article.

What's the takeaway for church leaders from these cases? Aside from the need to implement strong financial controls, if such controls aren't already in place, Richard explains three reasons why church leaders should learn from cases like these:

1. It illustrates the seriousness of the crime of embezzlement. The trial court handed down a sentence of 15 years for the embezzlement of $450,000 in church funds.

2. The case illustrates that under federal sentencing guidelines church employees who misappropriate church funds by misrepresenting that they are acting on behalf of the church are subject to an upward adjustment in their sentence.

3. This case demonstrates that in some cases church leaders decide to turn cases of embezzlement over to the civil authorities for investigation and prosecution rather than resolving the matter internally. Such decisions are often difficult, since church leaders often believe that involving the civil authorities is somehow incompatible with the virtues of mercy and grace. These are questions that each church will have to answer for itself, depending on the circumstances.

Before forgiving an embezzler and dropping the matter, though, Richard recommends church leaders consider four key points, including the serious nature of embezzlement, possible IRS forms to file, and fiduciary obligations to the congregation. For subscription information to Church Finance Today, visit http://ChurchLawToday.com/newsletters.php (this article also will soon be available for individual download at http://store.churchlawtodaystore.com/fiad.html).

Other resources:

For a full consideration of the topic of embezzlement, see chapter 7 in Richard Hammar's four-volume series, Pastor, Church & Law (4th ed. 2008) (also available by calling 1-800-222-1840). Chapter 7 addresses the following topics:

• Definition of embezzlement
• Why churches are vulnerable
• How embezzlement occurs
• Reducing the risk of embezzlement
• Responding to allegations of embezzlement
• The consequences of embezzlement
• Confidentiality and privileged communications
• Informing the congregation
• Avoiding false accusations
• The Employee Polygraph Protection Act

For a comprehensive look at internal controls that help protect against embezzlement, also see the book, Essential Guide to Church Finances (Christianity Today International, 2009).

For other financial safety resources, visit http://store.churchlawtodaystore.com/fiad.html or the Money section at ChurchSafety.com.

Resolving Conflict in the Church Office

The scenario that got both Sally and Jim both terminated from their company could have run like this:

Jim: All I said was that I needed the documents, completed and signed, by tomorrow night.
Sally: Don’t tell me that’s all you said. You demanded it!
Jim: I asked nicely.
Sally: Yes, but when my boss was here you kissed up to him really well and then asked me nicely. But your e-mail screamed at me.
Jim: Well, you made me do it because you didn’t write back to me.
Sally: I’m your boss and don’t have to get back to you. I tell you what to do.

And so it went, until the screaming attracted the attention of the entire office. Most office conflict doesn’t spiral out of control. But everyone has a conflict in the office from time to time. Even if you don’t have frequent conflict with others, you will be around people who do disagree with one another.

In office conflicts, there are “only” three major causes of conflict. If your office has any of the following, then you will have conflict:

• Money
• Power
• People

Humor aside, everybody is going to have conflict. The book of James gives another example of the source of conflict:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. —James 4:1–2 (NIV)

Conflict begins when someone shares their salary with a co-worker, who then becomes envious of the other. Or, one person gets a promotion, while the one who doesn’t takes out their angst on the new boss. It also can start when a subordinate continually makes insulting jokes and jabs, undermining morale.

What should we do when conflict happens? Here are some typical steps to consider when conflict happens in your office:

1. Acknowledge the conflict: By saying, “Yes, this is a conflict,” you have identified it and can now contain it. Ken Sande from Peacemaker Ministries suggests the “Three-Day Rule.” Many conflicts are minor and can be overlooked. But, if after three days you are still feeling angry, hurt, or insulted, then you need to resolve the conflict.

2. Get the log out of your own eye: Conflict is often seen in the Bible, so we shouldn’t be surprised to get great advice there as well. Jesus asked:

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. —Matthew 7:3–5 (NIV)

Practically, this means reflecting on what you have brought to the problem. We all want to think that the other person is 100 percent to blame. The truth is, we often are 25 percent, 50 percent or 75 percent of the reason for a problem. How can you unearth what your part of the problem is? Own your own stuff!

3. Allow for two confidants: Everybody needs a confidant, a person that they can share their story with and get honest and supportive feedback (I recommend that men talk with men and women talk with women). Many times people do well with one office confidant and one non-office confidant. In a small office, it’s hard to have a confidant. But in offices with more than ten staff members, I recommend allowing employees to have a confidant in the office. There should be limits to the number of confidants in the office, though. Many people like to have two, three, or more confidants in the office, which creates a gossip chain.

Here are some thoughts for you and your confidant:

• Ask your confidant to keep your story confidential;
• Ask your confidant to let you tell your side of the problem;
• Specifically ask your confidant: “What could I have done better?” and “Are there amends that I need to make?” and “How do you think I can resolve the issue?”

4. Go and talk to the other person: For most office conflicts, this is the best approach. Don’t go alone if the conflict involves physical or sexual abuse.

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. —Matthew 18:15 (NIV)

Here are some guidelines for conversations like this:

• Don’t have a hallway conversation;
• Make an appointment. “Jim, you and I had a conflict yesterday, and I would like to spend some time talking with you about it. When would be a good time for you?”
• Talk face-to-face. Do not talk via email or phone. Use the phone, if geography dictates, but don’t use email—it almost never works. Email is like pouring gasoline on the fire!
• Keep the main issues on the table. Perhaps write down your thoughts.

5. Involve your supervisor: If the one-on-one talk doesn’t work, then involve your supervisor. If the conflict is with your supervisor, then get the next person in the hierarchy. You want to follow the intent of Jesus’ words:

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ —Matthew 18:16 (NIV)

In the office, I rarely talk about lines of authority (meaning reporting relationships between bosses, managers, and supervisors, and employees, direct reports, and subordinates). When someone is hired or gets an annual review, we talk about lines of authority. We also talk about lines of authority when there is conflict in the office.

With an office conflict, it is vital to follow these lines. It ensures each party in the conflict gets treated fairly. It’s also the legal way to handle conflict—only involve the necessary people.

Example: If Jim reports to Sally, then the person to help resolve the conflict is Sally’s supervisor. If Jim and Sally report to different people, they you may want to bring the supervisors of both Jim and Sally.

Example of who not to bring in: Don’t bring in the “big boss” to resolve the conflict, whoever he or she may be. Follow the authority lines of the organization—God wants us to honor those who we directly work for. When we “jump” around our supervisors, we don’t treat them well and so we dishonor God. However, you may need to inform the “big boss” of the conflict.

Keep the conflict resolution confined until you need to bring in others. Don’t bring in co-workers of Jim and Sally. Co-workers mean well, but generally don’t have the authority or responsibility to solve work problems (notice I said “generally”).

Excuses, Excuses

Most people think of excuses about why their conflict cannot be resolved. Unfortunately, most of the excuses are applied to the other person. Here are some common ones:

• “The other person won't change, so I’m not going to try.”
• “The other person won't listen to me—they have already hurt me enough so more talking will only increase my pain.”
• “The conflict isn’t that big of a deal—I’m pretty much done with my crying.”
• “You’re too busy to help me, so let’s not bother with it.”

In an article, it is so easy to see these as white lies and excuses. But in the heat of conflict, these are used to avoid dealing with the other party.

We Aren’t Alone

There is so much more to cover. The people at Peacemaker Ministries have great material on resolving conflict in a biblical manner (including Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker).

These are some starting points on how to resolve conflict in the office. Remember, we don’t journey through conflict alone. God gives us wisdom on how to resolve any conflict:

If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. —Galatians 6:1–2 (ESV)

And God tells us what happens when we help bring peace:

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. —James 3:17–18 (ESV)