March 11, 2010
How Finance, Sexual Wrongdoings Challenged One Church
A pastor's worst nightmare leads to a new beginning.
My lawyer said, "Just follow my lead and answer the questions he asks, and everything will be okay." I clung to his advice as I entered the smartly decorated boardroom lined with towering bookshelves. The first thing I noticed was the videographer and stenographer setting up their equipment. Then the opposing counsel, who to me represented evil incarnate, walked into the room.
"Please state your full name for the record." His tone and mannerisms suggested this was strictly routine. For the others in the room, this was just another work day. They pushed buttons on the camera, they typed on the stenograph machine, they served coffee, they represented their clients—this was a 9-5 job for everyone in the room. Everyone, that is, except me.
I cleared my throat and said, "Ralph Webster Neighbour III."
"I am sure your lawyer has explained to you the deposition process, but let me explain it again for the record …"
There was that phrase again—"for the record." I thought: This is high stakes. The church's reputation and my future are on the line here! I also knew this deposition was just the beginning; we would walk at least another year through this legal maze.
I couldn't believe this was happening to me—a seventh generation pastor. But here I was, giving a deposition in a sexual misconduct lawsuit. This was not what I signed up for!
This article first appeared in Leadership journal. The full version is available at LeadershipJournal.net. For additional resources on embezzlement and sexual misconduct issues for churches, please visit:
- Secure Your Church Finances
- The Essential Guide to Church Finances
- Sexual Harassment in Your Church
- Boundaries for Healthy Church Relationships
- Child Sexual Abuse Response Plan
- Safe Mentoring Relationships
- Reducing the Risk, a child abuse prevention training program for church leaders.